I can't sleep, so I was lying in bed and this story popped in my head. I'm sorry if it isn't good. I plan a trip for my wife and I. We head to Niagara Falls Ontario. I got a hotel room, but then I booked us a massage at Great Wolf Lodge. This is my first massage ever. I think around 37 years old or so. I could be off.

So, the lady who is younger than me, and rather pretty, asked me what she should massage. I tell her I get back pain and neck pain. She is massaging my back and I liked it, but I also realize I shouldn't, but I can't control what is happening downstairs. I have a solid semi. She moves to my neck and it was nice, she then tells me to flip over. I didn't expect that Now I'm scared. I know what is happening downstairs.

I convince myself to think about the Toronto Maple Leafs. It didn't matter. My cheap ass Joe Boxer briefs had something bulging. All I can do is keep thinking about the Leafs. I'm worried she might think I'm a creep. The massage was fine. She was good. But I got a nice semi.

I have a friend who is a massage therapist. I saw her two weeks later at a party. I told her there is no way she could ever give me a massage. I told the story and she had a laugh, but I also like her husband so there was no way. I would love to help my friend's business. I don't think I can, just in case.