In University, we are at a bar and a friend of ours named Laura is leaving and has a 7 minute walk. So I offer to walk her home to make sure all is good. I walk her home and she asks if I want to come in for a beer. This is just friendship. I accept and we are having a beer. About half way through it hits and it hits hard. I have to shit, now.

I awkwardly tell her I might need a sit down. So I do my business on the toilet and I may have broken records. I flush, but the toilet and I aren't seeing eye to eye. So it clogs and it starts flowing upwards. At this time I didn't know toilets had a shut off valve. So I just panic. As I watch my logs roll over the toilet seat onto the floor, I am tossing toilet paper on the ground in a futile attempt to stop it.

My logs are now floating in water on the floor. I don't know what to do, so I summon the courage to tell my friend. She is kind and understanding and pretty drunk. We solve the problem and get it cleaned up. We are sitting in her room laughing about it when we hear one of her roommates freaking out. We run to the stairs to see what the problem was.

Apparently, my shitty, piss water leaked downstairs into her closet where she kept her Kashmir sweaters. Fifteen minutes later her boyfriend and her other roommate's boyfriend arrived and they played on the university football team. I probably apologized for 15 minutes straight as I was working my way towards the door.